Principles to Remember

There are some things it's wrong to do to people, even if they consent.

Sex should not hurt.

"It's the only way I can get off" does not excuse harmful behavior.

"But this turns me on" is not an excuse either.

Until the 1980s, desiring anal sex was a practically infallible marker of having been anally abused in very early childhood. This leaves me deeply suspicious of the fad for it now.

Likewise, BDSM is strongly associated with a history of abuse. This leaves me deeply suspicious of BDSM also.

Some people claim they are practicing safe, harmless role-playing under the rubric of BDSM, and that anything else is not "real" BDSM.
Nonetheless, since it chronically provides cover for bullies and abusers, something is wrong with it.